Let me start off by saying I married the most perfect guy for me! He doesn’t require a ton of maintenance, he gives me a lot of love, and we game together!
Now, keeping that in mind, lemme turn this around by saying: ladies, I absolutely, one hundred percent feel your pain. No matter how perfect your man is for you, they are NOT fun to shop for!
That’s why I’m here! I’m going to make this as easy for you this holiday as I can! We both know that new clothes and gift cards are not gonna cut it for our boys. They want something they can rip open and play with right then and there! They wanna FIX things, PLAY with things, BREAK things, FIX them again and, well, we ladies know that this is a never-ending continuous cycle, so I’ll stop there!
GIFT #1: Zombie Survival Kit
Laugh it up all you want, but that doesn’t change the facts – one day a zombie apocalypse will occur and, face it, our men won’t see it coming from behind the safety of their pocket protectors and sleek, sexy controllers. So we have a duty as their women to make certain that they have the basics so that they can keep US alive!
The most important thing that this survival kit offers is a SOG Tactical Tomahawk – yeah, I said it, a TOMAHAWK! You’re not going to be able to buy ammo when the zombies attack, so you’re gonna need something to hack and slash with when you are out of ammo or unable to shoot a gun.
This kit has the basics: zombie crime scene tape, a collapsible shot glass so you don’t get dehydrated, dissolving hand soap sheets (for all you OCD freaks like me), a trusty spork can opener tool, “zombie” jerky, a firestarter, energy shots, and a survival sardine can that includes the twenty-five items in the image below!
No sardines included!
This kit is awesome for the last minute, “shit, we need to go!” kinda guy! You can grab your last-minute essentials (glasses, inhalers, duct tape, a change of clothes, etc.) and still be able to shove them in the bag with the rest of the gear and head out within minutes!
GIFT #2: Addictaball
Need a stocking stuffer that gets your man AWAY from the games long enough to make nice with your parents and/or friends? No, I’m not hinting at some amazingly-discounted couples therapy that prepares your man for the stress of the holidays. I am, however, hinting at a super-affordable, time consuming, hands-on Addictaball!
Yes, the name is STUPID. Yet, the ball is, oddly enough…addicting. For about $7 plus shipping and handling, this ball will provide you AND your man with hours of “How the hell do I do this?” entertainment!
While you’re making nice with the family, you can finally get him into the embarrassing reindeer sweater, away from the TV/PC, and in the SAME ROOM as you and the family without starting a fight!
As you can see above, the goal is to tilt the sphere in ways to get the ball through the many mazes!
There are two sizes for this game, large and small. The large Addictaball presents you with 138 challenges, while the small limits you to a mere hundred.
This annoying yet time consuming game is guaranteed to be as “addicting as Belgian chocolate.”
Hopefully you’re not allergic to chocolate like I am, and that proves to be a more suitable analogy for you!
GIFT #3: Damn You, Autocorrect!
A year has gone by since you bought your lovely man a book for bathroom reading. By now, he’s read it, and possibly used some of the less amusing pages for toilet paper when you neglected to restock it for him. Point being, it’s time to get him a NEW book for toilet side entertainment.
Admit it, you’ve spent a lot of time browsing these amusing texts! So now, get access to all new, fan-submitted autocorrect fails!
“Damn You, Autocorrect! will leave you laughing until you cry, and thankful that nothing this embarrassing has happened to you. Yet.” – Jillian Madison
GIFT #4: USB Wall Socket Charger
With the holidays coming around the corner, you might be forced to open your home up to your family and all their electronics that require charging via USB. Very quickly, your personal computer will become overloaded with all their cables. So how do you provide power for all their gizmos and gadgets?
Other World Computing provides a three-prong USB socket charger that is affordable, energy saving, and can charge up to four devices at once!
The best part? It’s a do-it -ourself project, and one that, by following the How To Video that they provide, takes only twenty minutes of your time.
Of course, when the holidays are over, you can keep them installed and be able to charge your devices anywhere you currently are in your own home!
It’s a great home improvement-meets-geek kinda gift that will make your man remember how awesome you are for the rest of the year. Or just until the new Call of Duty is released and he gives you puppy eyes and you break down and buy it for him.
Also, my husband approves this gift.
GIFT #5: The Red Dragon Inn
Calling all you weary dungeon explorers! Looking for a place to kick up your feet, drink some fine mead, and take everyone’s money? Then The Red Dragon Inn is just for you!
Eric and I spend a lot of time playing board games, and this is one of our favorites that we highly recommend. It’s easy to learn, easy to play, and is great with a group of friends!
The whole point of the game? Get all your friends drunk so they pass out, or have them spend all their gold so the wench kicks them outta the tavern. You want to be the last man standing!
To play the game, you first choose a character. This character has cards that make other people drink more, spend more, and also protect you from their cards that do the same to you.
I’m gonna take a moment here and say that there are three games, two character expansions, and a deck for gambling games. When you have more, it’s better!
So whether you’re a sneak, a wizard, a gnome tinkerer, a troll alchemist, or even a psychotic bunny named Pooky that can pull a magician out of a hat, this game is for you, your friends, your family, and hey, even that cute guy next door who you WISH was your boyfriend. *wink wink* 😉
So, there ya go! That’s my list of gifts for your boyfriend/husband/significant other for this Christmas! I’d love to hear what you’ve already bought for your loved one, or any gifts you like to add! I’m also happy to hear things like, “Hey Jess, you’re awesome!” That makes my day!
Happy Holidays, y’all! ❤