In preparation for writing our Borderlands 2 review, everyone at Nerdy But Flirty who was playing the game assembled to discuss it.
The results were…interesting. Edited to remove the boring bits where we discussed the game like adults.
On the changes to special abilities
AxlCalrissian: I am not a fan of the lack of a Bloodwing-style special ability in this game. I like…being able to throw animals…at my problems. And Borderlands 2 just didn’t scratch that itch.
On problems with co-op
Kelsey: I like more interaction with people and surroundings. I just get frustrated with dying all the time and having no idea what’s going on and getting very little story.
Loser Geek: I think part of the problem with that was the group, because there is more than just shooting things. For a beginner playing with veterans, it is way too easy to get lost.
Sarah The Rebel: And they make it ALLL about playing with other people.
Loser Geek: Yes.
Sarah The Rebel: Really I enjoy playing by myself more, because then I get to actually hear what everyone is saying, versus when there are a lot of people who try to ask ten different people a question, and then I can’t hear Scooter say funny shit while Moxxie is sayin’ funny shit.
AxlCalrissian: Agreed. I like the slower pace of playing solo.
On the story
Loser Geek: I had a problem with one plot point that I WILL NEVER GET OVER. Jake knows what I’m talking about.
AxlCalrissian: I do. And, like our fair Dancer, I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT.
It’s shockingly dark. We can’t go too far with this because of spoilers, but sweet zombie Jesus. Maybe it’s because the Borderlands world is so funny and colorful, but it blindsided me.
Loser Geek: Yeah, it does take a turn from funny-dark to just straight-up-dark.
Sarah The Rebel: lol Ooooh, how ominous.
Loser Geek: The end game is not fucking around.
AxlCalrissian: “Hahahahahaha…Ha…Ha…Oh…Oh my God.” – Jake plays Borderlands 2.
Loser Geek: Annnnnd Jake just wrote the whole review.
Good night everyone.
Loser Geek: Did anyone dislike the controls?
… I assumed for everyone.
On inventory…and stupidity
Sabirah: It took me quite a while to get used to the interface and the menus, just because everything was so vibrant and I have ADHD so I was all OOOH, COLORS!
Loser Geek: That does remind me of another complaint, the inventory is still kind of a clusterfuck.
AxlCalrissian: Even with the new option to mark things as trash, there’s just… So. Many. Guns.
Loser Geek: And did anyone figure out how to sell all trash in one go?
Am I just dumb?
AxlCalrissian: No, I never did.
But we might be dumb as a team.
DUMB TWIN POWERS…ACTIVATE!
Loser Geek: FORM OF AN IDIOT!
AxlCalrissian: SHAPE OF AN IMBECILE!
Kelsey: I don’t understand anything about guns or what makes them better than other ones, and so my whole method of choosing them while I played was “THIS ONE IS A SPECIAL COLOR AND DOES MORE DAMAGE. I SHALL USE IT.”
Loser Geek: That’s pretty much all there is to it.
AxlCalrissian: Actually, pretty colors are seriously enticing.
AxlCalrissian: I have a hard time letting go of guns I know I’ll never use.
Loser Geek: Are you a hoarder, Jake? Do we need to have an intervention?
AxlCalrissian: I am a hoarder. “OOOOH, A JAKOBS SNIPER RIFLE THAT DOES WAY LESS DAMAGE THAN ANY GUN I HAVE, BUT HOLY CRAP, IT’S PURPLE.”
Sarah The Rebel: I get bitched at for “shopping” all the time.
On the characters
Sabirah: The guardian angel annoys me. She looks like that girl from that vampire show.
Loser Geek: Could you be a little more vague?
AxlCalrissian: You know, I agree. Early on, at least, the Guardian Angel was
Loser Geek: “that vamire show” god
AxlCalrissian: BE NICE.
Sabirah: THAT GIRL FROM THAT SHOW WITH THE VAMPIRE BROTHERS
Kelsey: I hate that Guardian Angel bitch.
AxlCalrissian: A little irritating.
Sabirah: SHE PISSED ME OFF.
AxlCalrissian: SHE’S A NICE LADY AND SHE’S JUST TRYING TO HELP
Kelsey: SHE’S ANNOYING AND SERVED NO PURPOSE
Sabirah: I DON’T WANT TO SEE HER STINKING FACE NO MORE
AxlCalrissian: I WAS YELLING AT JOSH!
Loser Geek: She’s…complicated in her motives
Sabirah: The Vampire Diaries!!
AxlCalrissian: … That whole thing, right there?
AxlCalrissian: My favorite new character was Handsome Jack. He’s one of the best villians I’ve seen in a very long time.
Loser Geek: I liked Handsome Jack until THE EVENT.
AxlCalrissian: Okay, yeah, but that’s why he’s such a great villain!
Loser Geek: But up until THAT, I thought he was really funny.
AxlCalrissian: He’s funny, and you like him, but he’s also a gigantic, evil dickface.
Loser Geek: Afterwards he started being annoying and I didn’t want to hear a thing he said.
AxlCalrissian: I don’t blame you.
Tiny Tina…and babies
Sarah The Rebel: My fave new character in the game was Tiny Tina though. By far.
Loser Geek: She could have used a bigger role. I want her as a sidekick
Sarah The Rebel: I want her as a pet.
AxlCalrissian: That’s a normal thing to say about a human being!
Loser Geek: “I believe in child slavery” – Sarah
Sarah The Rebel: One day when I pop out a baby that wish will be granted.
Loser Geek: What’s our official rating on babies? D-? F?
Kelsey: F for sure
Kelsey: F for “Fuck no I am not pushing that out of my vagina!”
AxlCalrissian: Oh my God, Kelsey! You’re like Sesame Street!
Kelsey: I am a children’s librarian. Gotta teach them somehow
Sarah The Rebel: I rate babies a C, because you get to buy them clothes. Which compensates for the gross.
Sarah The Rebel: They are Barbies in disguise!
Kelsey: Because then I am spending money on them that I could be spending on myself. And then they outgrow said clothes in like a month and you are fucked.
Sarah The Rebel: No you aren’t. You shop at the thrift store. That outfit cost you 3 bucks, so what?
AxlCalrissian: … What the hell were we talking about?
Loser Geek: Tiny Tina
AxlCalrissian: Right! Enjoyed her stylings.
AxlCalrissian: …Kay, so guns?
Loser Geek: GUNS ARE NEAT
They make loud noises that isn’t crying and they never poop on themselves.
Sarah The Rebel: I can’t find a gun I love. 😦
Sarah The Rebel: I loved my sniper rifle and these new sniper rifles ain’t shit.
Hard to find a shotgun worth my time either.
AxlCalrissian: I’ve had whirlwind romances with several shotguns.
ALSO, FUCKIN’ REVOLVERS!
THOSE THINGS ROCK SO HARD.
Sarah The Rebel: yeah I JUST discovered that
like literally 4 minutes ago
I was like oh shit…
AxlCalrissian: You know, this has nothing to do with the game per se, but I STILL watch the wub wub launch trailer.
Sarah The Rebel: It kept that “wub wub” promise too.
Loser Geek: Speaking of wub wub, has everyone been to Claptrap’s birthday party?
Loser Geek: That definitely fits in with the sad/hilarious thing
AxlCalrissian: It’s SADLARIOUS incarnate.
Loser Geek: “Things got awkward”
AxlCalrissian: Crowning moment.
Sarah The Rebel: it made me so sad 😦
AxlCalrissian: That’s the power of sadlarious. Works 65% of the time.
On QR codes…and mutant turtles
Sarah The Rebel: Did anyone try to use the QR code on the pizza boxes?
AxlCalrissian: Yes ma’am!
Sarah The Rebel: What happens when you try to use it?
AxlCalrissian: You get a secret message, “Never pay full price for late pizza.” – Captain Picard.
That’s actually a line from Mikey in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
Sarah The Rebel: RAP!
Loser Geek: The TMNT related side quest made me so happy.
AxlCalrissian: Me too! There’s some great pop culture references in this game.
Loser Geek: Pop Culture as FPSRPG
On leaving early
Sabirah: May I be excused from the table, Dancer?
Loser Geek: Fine. Do whatever you want. If you hate all the other writers, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Sabirah: I love everyone so much I could burst.
Sarah The Rebel: I really felt like they changed something. Used to be I could hit a rakk no problem, now it takes me like 7 shots (well not now now but when I first started up the second game).
Loser Geek: I think it is more stats driven now. Accuracy rating seems to matter a lot more.
Some of the shotguns are basically useless.
AxlCalrissian: My current shotgun requires that you be within breath-smelling range to be effective.
Loser Geek: I have a shotgun with a scope
It does not make.
Loser Geek: It’s not super-accurate, but still much better. It can do more damage at a distance than my rocket launcher
AxlCalrissian: … Dude, that’s bonkin’.
Loser Geek: Are we all agreed that 2 is more difficult than 1? I died more in the past week than the months that I played 1.
AxlCalrissian: Oh, yeah. It’s kind of infuriating sometimes.
Loser Geek: So expensive too.
AxlCalrissian: On that note, though, being able to move while in Fight-For-Your-Life Mode?
On music…and guys named Chad…and profanity
AxlCalrissian: It’s somehow just more… Prevalent. All the music is atmospheric to the max, and perfectly suits every location and situation it’s applied to. It spans a wide range of styles and genres, and I’m just a big fan. I’d like to buy the composer a frosty adult beverage.
Loser Geek: The music is like everything else. It’s just so much MORE than in the original
Sarah The Rebel: I love the music. The bass that comes in while I’m killin’ someone? ugh
Loser Geek: And that opening cinematic was incredible
AxlCalrissian: Yeah, The Heavy is actually one of my favorite bands. I went a Hipster Bitch-Fit when I first heard the song in the game, because I love it so hard and didn’t want other douchebags named Chad to love it as well, but I got over it, just because it was so perfect.
Loser Geek: Why do guys named Chad suck so much?
Kelsey: I knew a Chad in high school who was dumb as a box of rocks. Of course, he was very popular and everyone loved him.
AxlCalrissian: Dearest Chad,
Fuck your fuckin’ stupid face, you fuckin’ fuck.
… You might wanna throw some internet white-out on that last one.
Loser Geek: Have you read Kelsey’s posts? We are clearly R rated.
AxlCalrissian: Thank God for Kelsey. Now I can swear as much as I want.
Kelsey: You’re welcome.
Loser Geek: Jake’s next post is just going to be variations of “fuck” now.
Loser Geek: What mission are you on, Jake?
AxlCalrissian: Whatever one we were on when we last played together.
Loser Geek: Mmmmm, yeah. Can’t say I remember that…
Sarah The Rebel: alcoholic
Loser Geek: Glass houses, Sarah.
Sarah The Rebel: YOU. ARE. AN. ALCOHOLIC.
AxlCalrissian: We’re kind of a group of alcoholics here.
Loser Geek: I am a drunk
There is a difference.
Loser Geek: It’s completely different.
Loser Geek: Kelsey is my spirit animal.
Sarah The Rebel: this whole conversation >
On being off-topic
AxlCalrissian: It’s amazing how little of this has actually pertained to Borderlands.
Loser Geek: All of this pertains to Borderlands, what are you talking about?
Maybe you’re playing it wrong.
AxlCalrissian: Wait, we were supposed to play the game? I’ve been using it as a coaster.
Son of a bitch.
Loser Geek: Oh, god no. We’re professionals. I looked it up on Wikipedia.
AxlCalrissian: … … Holy shit, we should make ourselves a Wikipedia article.
Loser Geek: Nerdy But Flirty:
A group of drunks who sometimes write things.
AxlCalrissian: Annnnnnnd…. Cue theme song!
Kelsey: Do we have one?
AxlCalrissian: … I … Fuckin’ … I ….
Loser Geek: I say we use the Golden Girls theme.
AxlCalrissian: Anyway… Do we have much else to say about Borderlands 2? I feel like we hit on all the stuff that really popped out to us.
Loser Geek: Are you saying that chatting for almost two hours is enough for you?
Are you going all Sabirah on us?
Going Sabirah. Pfft.
Maybe edit that part out.
I want to wait at least a week before I start hurting feelings.