You probably know that Borderlands 2 came out this week. It’s a series that we’re a bit obsessed with, and a big reason is the variety of guns available. So that got me thinking about other games had great weapons and, well, that led to this list.
Morph Gun from Jak & Daxter
The Jak & Daxter series is a platformer at heart, but it’s become a platformer that happens to do kickass racing and shooting as well. Jak 2 and 3 both feature a weapon called the Morph Gun, which is basically what it sounds like.
In Jak 2, it switches between four different unique styles of play, with functions like your basic shotgun, rifle, machine gun, and BFG. In Jak 3, it gets expanded to twelve different styles, all easily and quickly selectable from the comfort of one badass gun.
Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2
Do I even need to explain this?
This has probably been on every weapon list since the game came out. What is there to say?
Clementine and The Separator from Brutal Legend
A razor-sharp battleaxe. A flying V electric guitar that shoots fire and lightning. Wielded by a muscular Jack Black.
Okay, picture this…protagonist Eddie Riggs hits a massive chord on Clementine, setting a zombie druid ablaze. He then proceeds to dismember said burning druid with The Separator. That’s a basic level attack.
Also, you can use Clementine to summon Eddie’s 1932 Ford Deuce Coupe Hot Rod by playing a rockin’ guitar solo.
The Gravity Hammer from the Halo series
My skillful use of onomatapeia should be enough to illustrate the awesomeness of the Gravity Hammer.
It’s a giant hammer that displaces the gravity in a large radius around wherever it’s swung, sending any unfortunate target flying, if not destroying them outright.
The Gravity Hammer first appeared in Halo 2, wielded by Tartarus, the chieftain of the Brutes, but you never got to use it, only get pummeled by it. Halo 3 finally gave Master Chief John-117 and the Arbiter the chance to wield the monster itself, sending squealing Grunts and Jackals running for cover.
Yeah, it’s one of those weapons that everyone in multiplayer hates unless they’re the one using it, but that doesn’t even matter.
It’s a giant hammer that reverses gravity.
Super Missile from the Metroid series
Ah, the freakin’ Super Missile. In the isolated, dangerous universe of the Metroid series, it’s comforting to have a crazy-dangerous doomsday weapon mounted on your arm.
The Super Missile upgrade pops up in more or less every Metroid game at one point or another, and it’s an invaluable tool. Samus Aran encounters some very dangerous creatures in her adventures, and when things get too hairy, she spends five missiles creating the ultra-powerful Super Missile, which destroys damn near anything it comes in contact with.
There are exceptions, sure, but when I was traipsing alone through the Phendrana Drifts of Tallon IV in Metroid Prime, I felt a little safer with the Super Missile at my side.
Morph-O-Ray/Sheepinator/Quack-O-Ray/Boarzooka/Mootator/Chimp-o-Matic from the Ratchet & Clank series
There are a lot of guns in the Ratchet & Clank series. Seriously, those could warrant their own entire article. But I thought one class of weapons deserved a special mention, and that’s the “morph” rays present in every game.
Who doesn’t like being able to transmogrify their enemies into harmless animals?
Oh, and occasionally, you can transform your enemies into extremely dangerous animals that will turn on their former friends in devastating (yet hilarious) fashion.
Travis Touchdown’s Beam Katana from No More Heroes
Travis Touchdown is just like you or me, except that he’s a sociopathic, loudmouthed, sex-obsessed assassin.
With a lightsaber.
It’s absolutely true that Travis Touchdown’s Beam Katana is literally just a lightsaber, but it’s just so cool. The kicker? The first No More Heroes game straight up says that Travis won the katana in an online auction.
Like we’ve all dreamed of.
The Wrench from Bioshock
Ah, the humble pipe wrench…what weapon is better-suited for bashing the brains out of a psychotic, drug-addicted hobo?
On the surface, the wrench is no more interesting than any other melee weapon from any other video game ever. It’s just a wrench.
What makes the wrench so great is the damage it can do when upgraded properly. The number of tonics in the game that can be applied to it is pretty sizeable, and it can be made so powerful that it renders the rest of the weapons in the game almost unimportant.
I’ve personally seen the game’s deadly Big Daddies taken down with naught but a well-upgraded wrench.
Who needs bullets when you’ve got plumbing tools?
The Boneduster from Bulletstorm
On the subject of bullets, how about a shotgun with four barrels?
Every weapon in Bulletstorm is way over-the-top and has a devastating secondary attack that results in ludicrous gore.
The Boneduster is a great shotgun on its own, but, if things get a little tough, the secondary attack is a gigantic wall of flame that literally turns your enemies into piles of dust.
Plus, Boneduster would make a ridiculously cool band name.
Captain Falcon’s Fist from F-Zero/Super Smash Bros.
Not a weapon, you say?
I beg to differ.
The Falcon Punch in Super Smash Bros. is one the single coolest moves in all of fighting game history. If you haven’t played the game, you’ve probably run into the meme.
Captain Falcon, the bounty hunter and hovercar racer known all over the galaxy, shouts “FALCON!” at which point he cocks back his fist, which is then SURROUNDED BY FIRE IN THE SHAPE OF A FALCON, and then shouts “PAWNCH!”
He then delivers his fist into the face of any nearby opponent.
There’s no reason Captain Falcon should be able to do this. He’s never demonstrated supernatural abilities in any of the F-Zero games before or since Super Smash Bros.
But he can.
And we should all fear it.
What are your favorite video game weapons? Hit me up in the comments and let me know.