There are three shots of espresso in my drink, and while at first I thought this would be a good idea, I have in fact discovered that instead of being SUPER FOCUSED, my brain is everywhere at once. So obviously, this is the perfect time to write a game review, right? RIGHT?!
I will be honest with you, I only finished the first of three chapters. Each chapter has ten separate missions, and by the end of the tenth mission, I was angry at myself and the goddamn dynamite-loaded assholes who kept blowing me up every time I tried to get in there and kill them. I realize that real, professional game writers are supposed to finish the whole game before they review them. Well guess what? I am not a real, professional game reviewer. So this is what ya’ll are stuck with.
However, I say that all in a nice way. I had an enjoyable time raging, because every time I rounded a corner and was surprise-blasted in the face by a tank, I knew that the next time I was going to have to rethink my strategy. I am pretty terrible at strategic, top-down shooters, as I generally tend to just run in blindly and shoot everything. And that is something that was clearly now working in Tiny Troopers. So I had to form a new plan of attack, and that was actually a lot of fun.
Unfortunately for me and my tendency to die all the time, every time you die in Tiny Troopers, you lose your leveled-up squad mates forever.
Which is so annoying.
I would FINALLY get a few guys through a couple of missions and start to feel good about myself, and then all of a sudden I get my ass handed to me, and BOOM, all of my progress is lost and I have to start over with new people.
The great thing is that everything you kill and find earns you points, which you don’t lose when you die. Everything you earn can buy you perks and “specialists.” So maybe you kill lots of things and find everything on the level, but you die at the last second. You may have brand new dudes, but you can buy them every perk available to try the level again. That is really what saved me in this game, and I appreciated the way they set that up.
Speaking of specialists, I’m unsure of how useful they actually are. Most of the time, if you don’t buy the specialist that the game recommends, the level automatically throws in what you need (grenades, rockets, etc.) first thing so that you can pick them up. Which makes me wonder, what is even the point of buying a specialist if you’re just going to give me what I want anyway? I mean sure, it’s LESS of what a specialist would have, but I can work with it.
The one other thing I had an issue with was the horrible dying noises that your adorable soldiers make. Because the whole time you play, they shout things in these tiny, childlike voices, and so when they die they sound like…dying children. Which is a little gross and awful and kind of weirded me out every time it happened.
Which was a lot.
But hey! Maybe that’s your thing! Don’t let it deter you from shooting the crap out of things.
I also disliked that when you went too far in one direction you could see the blank, purple edge of the map. It didn’t happen a lot, but only because I learned not to go towards it. It wasn’t a big issue, just a slight eyesore when it came up.
Finally, I had a few problems with the controls. Basically, you click somewhere to run there, but you also have to click on enemies to shoot them. It becomes hectic and frustrating at times, because you will run right into a group of enemies. But it was never overly-frustrating.
Anyway, I had a lot of fun. It’s an enjoyable little game that you can easily get wrapped up in. I was surprised at how badly I wanted to pass these missions. Since I only got as far as Chapter One, I’m not totally aware if the levels get repetitive, but from what I saw, each mission was pretty unique and fun to explore. Plus, the game gives you incentive to not suck, because you really want to keep the squad that you have leveled up.
Tiny Troopers was a lot of fun, despite its problems. I definitely want to check out more from Kukouri in the future.
Review based on the PC version, which was provided free of charge. Available through Steam for $9.99 on either PC or Mac. There is also a mobile version available through the App Store at $0.99 for the iPhone or iPad.