For those who don’t know our history, Sam is one of my best girlfriends in the entire world. She’s also one of the nerdiest ladies whom I’ve ever met, but there’s one defining trait of this lady that puts her on pillar:

Her tongue. And wow, you perverts, I definitely don’t mean it like that. Anyone who has ever crossed this chick has probably left with some pretty severe mental and emotional wounds due to the fact that she is one of the few girls I know who can deliver a verbal beat down and make it feel as though you physically just went twelve rounds with Mike Tyson.

What makes this gal even more of a badass is that she’s a gamer, one of the most skilled I know, who takes the “go back to the kitchen” comments, turns them on their heads, and sends ’em back to the troll like a powerful backhand that sends all trolling men crying for their mommies, and, quite possibly, holding their own balls that she personally ripped off and handed back to them.

So…is it any huge mystery why I respect this girl so much? She’s a girl gamer who doesn’t let the sexist and misogynistic comments get to her, while still maintaining her rank as one of the top female gamers in the world. And so, without further ado, it is a great honor to introduce a girl I’ve known since we were screaming, “CHANGE THE WORLD, CHANGE THE WORLD” at each other during our time pole vaulting, sobbing our eyes out over the Evangelion manga, and other (probably wildly inappropriate) shenanigans we got into during high school, and who has also has endured anime conventions with me (crappy hotels and cosplay included): the legendary Sam Snyder.

KS: Sam, you’re known amongst your friends as a no-nonsense, hardcore gamer with an attitude that pretty much puts any man who tells you to “get back into the kitchen” in his place. How did you originally get into gaming? What was the first game you ever played?

SS: I began my obsession with gaming at the age of eight. We had just been given a used computer, so my mom’s friend gave her a bunch of old DOS games. Among those games was the first game I ever played, King’s Quest (a command prompt game). The interactive gameplay and basic CGA graphics had me mesmerized. I watched my mom play the game at a pace that left me irritated, left me wanting more. Eventually, I convinced her to let me play the game on my own, and I beat it within a few days. I was hooked. I quickly played the rest of the series, and to this day, I replay the games once every few years.

KS: Would you say you have a “tougher” skin now than you did when you first got into gaming and began encountering some of the less scrupulous players?

SS: Xbox Live is a cesspool of misogynists and idiots – the perfect arena for developing a “don’t give a fuck” attitude toward other gamers. Whether they just finished fucking your mom or received their certification on identifying faggots through voice alone or need a sandwich, they exist to make your gaming experience miserable. I’ll admit that the first time I received a full-on verbal lashing, I was shocked. I was called a “fat bitch,” a “carpet-munching dyke,” and an “unemployed, single loser” (which admittedly cracked me up), amongst other things. The in-game abuse and private messages always worsened once the “superior male gamers” realized I was continuously achieving better KDRs than them. After months of treatment like this, it was basically impossible for me to care anymore. My only possible reaction at that point was laughter and smug satisfaction at their resentment that not only had a female entered their hallowed ground, she was kicking their bitter asses.

KS: What are some of your favorite games and why?

SS: I’ve always leaned towards adventure-style games with logic puzzles and an engrossing storyline. A few of my favorites: The Legend of Zelda games (my favorites being Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, and Twilight Princess), the King’s Quest games (obviously), Donkey Kong 64, the Bioshock games, the Portal games, Sanitarium, the Borderlands games, Shadow of the Colossus, the Kingdom Hearts games, the God of War games, etc. Day-to-day favorites: League of Legends, Minecraft, the Guild Wars games, the Call of Duty games, the Left for Dead games, etc.

KS: What about female video game characters?

SS: I would have to say that my favorites would be Midna (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess), Tiny Tina (Borderlands 2) and (I realize that she technically isn’t female) GLaDOS (Portal/Portal 2).

I love Midna because she is clever, comical, and resourceful. I couldn’t think of a better way to both enhance the story and replace Navi/Navi-esque NPCs. The fact that Tiny Tina is in Borderlands 2 for all of ten minutes and lands on my favorite list speaks for itself. She is hysterically funny and badass, and I was so disappointed that she wasn’t in the game more. GLaDOS hardly needs an explanation. She’s evil and hilarious – the games just wouldn’t be the same without her.

KS: How about male characters?

SS: Probably Kratos (God of War series) and Wander (Shadow of the Colossus).

KS: I know you’re really into MMORPGs. How did you get into online gaming?

SS: Once I entered college, online gaming was the only realistic option to continue gaming with friends (formerly, I had been mostly a console player). I spend many hours a week playing with friends (recently it’s been mostly League of Legends, Minecraft, and Borderlands 2). Through online gaming, I have made friends in different states and different countries that I frequently play with. While achieving in-game victory is awesome on your own, it’s just as satisfying when it’s done as a team.

KS: What’s your favorite MMORPG to date? What are you currently working on?

SS: My favorite MMORPG is Guild Wars 2. Although I beat it ages ago, I still play it rather frequently. Currently, I’m more focused on MOBA games, as I don’t have the time necessary to devote to an MMORPG (they’re a lot of work!).

KS: What’s one of your least favorite MMORPG?

SS: World of Warcraft. I gave it a shot a few times, and I just couldn’t get into it.

KS: Do you game competitively? If so, what’s your highest score or achievement?

SS: Only with Counterstrike (I suck unless it’s a gun game, haha), League of Legends, and the Call of Duty games. I don’t really keep track, but I generally have a pretty kickass KDR.

KS: You’re also an otaku, into anime, manga, and cosplaying! What are some of your favorite anime and manga titles? How about characters?

SS: Favorite anime/manga: Toradora!, Inuyasha, Trigun, Rurouni Kenshin, FLCL, Soul Eater, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ororon, Angel Sanctuary, Fushigi Yugi, Godchild, Prince of Tennis, etc.

KS: Who was the very first character you cosplayed, and why?

SS: My first cosplay was Etna from the Disgaea games. Her sassy attitude combined with her overall body shape and her nickname (flat chested fornicatress) was a good match for me.

KS: How was your very first con experience?

SS: Acen 2009. I totally geeked out. I took hundreds of pictures, hugged strangers, and tried to talk to anyone in a cool cosplay. The people were awesome, the staff were easygoing, and I felt extremely comfortable and welcome. That being said, we were seriously unorganized, our hotel was way too far from the convention center, and my wings constantly fell off. I absolutely couldn’t wait to go back the next year once it was over.

KS: What was your absolute worse con experience? (Costume malfunctions, weird creepy stalkers…)

SS: Acen 2012. We waited in line for three hours to attend the masquerade ball. Finally, after passing the time by high-fiving and conversing with strangers, we filed into the auditorium. SECONDS after we sat down, some ass pulls the fire alarm, and we had to evacuate the building. Needless to say, it was infuriating.

KS: Are there any conventions you want to go to in the future?

SS: San Diego Comic Con, PAX, Ohayo-Con, Gamescom, TGS, and many more!

KS: Any games you plan on tackling anytime soon?

SS: Waiting for: Last Guardian (IF IT EVER COMES OUT), God of War: Ascension, Fables, Deadpool, Beyond: Two Souls, and a few others. Currently playing Mass Effect.

KS: What other ways do you like to nerd out? (Comic books, etc.)

SS: I like “nerdy” shows like Doctor Who and Firefly, and I spend large amounts of time reading fantasy and science fiction novels.

KS: How do you feel about the “treatment” of the typical female gamer? (ie: “Girl Gamer” vs. “Gamer Girl”, lewd comments over Live, etc.)

SS: To be frank, it’s fucking disgusting. You’re either berated for being a female or propositioned for sex. The fact that many females feel the need to hide from the verbal communication that can genuinely benefit the team is pathetic. While I’ve grown to deal with it, I realize that not all female gamers can. There should absolutely be a better system for reporting players that constantly harass players simply because they possess a vagina. That would teach them to ask for pictures of your butt.

KS: What’s one of the best things you’ve ever said or done to a troll?

SS: I received a private message on Xbox Live that stunningly showcased issues that girl gamers have to deal with on a daily basis. Recorded message. Posted to r/girlgamers. Hilarity ensued. Recording: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc23XomXLvA&feature=youtu.be

KS: What’s your greatest video game achievement to date?

SS: BEATING THE MOTHERFUCKING DK ARCADE CHALLENGE IN DONKEY KONG 64. The fact that you had to beat the arcade once was pure hell in itself. The fact that you had to beat it TWICE in order to BEAT THE GAME was fucking madness. As a ten-year-old, this was an extremely emotional and stressful feat, and I’m not going to lie – my mom walked in on me crying a few times because of this damn mini-game.

KS: Any parting words?

SS: “Real badasses eat chocolate chip cookies, I’mma gonna get that tattooed across my back in Old English font.”

-Tiny Tina